A major problem which many people have in their life is anger. Anger makes us unhappy in our marriages and other relationships. It also causes us to do many grave sins which are against the Torah.
Many people spend large portions of their life being angry. They wake up in the morning and have a fight with their spouse. They get in the car and are angry at the traffic, they honk, honk to get people out of the way. G-d should help the person who caused him to miss a light. At work if the person is in a position of authority he yells at his subordinates all day long. When he gets home after another traffic jam he finishes the fight with his wife which he started after he woke up.
Anger makes many people in the world miserable. Anger is counter-productive. It damages our lives, the lives of those we love and the lives of those we work with. When a person is angry he will forget everything good and only harp on the negative. Who wants to be miserable and angry their whole life?
If it causes people to be so miserable why do people repeatedly get angry? Betty Doty a professional family Psychologist, in her book Shake the Anger Habit says that the cause of anger is that people believe that things ought to be a certain way. My spouse ought to be a certain way, the traffic ought be light when I am driving by, subordinates at work ought to know what I want before I ask. Life is never what angry people think it should be. Anger blinds people from seeing the truth. Here is just one scenario of anger.
Immediately after getting married some people expect there new young wife to know how to fry eggs exactly the way they like it. After all, the diner you used to eat at knew how to make it.
The egg and the anger have blinded this newlywed. He does not see that a new wife should concentrate on love. Love is not a fried egg. Diners specialize in making fried eggs for unloved people.
The question is then asked, “How do we get rid of Anger?” Betty Doty has advice. She believes that the best way to stop anger is to say to yourself, “All of us are truly doing the best we can, all the time….”
If you believe that every one is doing all they can, you won’t get angry. Accept it as a fact that people are doing all that they physically can. This attitude can definitely prevent people from getting angry.
Our Rabbis of blessed memory said almost exactly the same thing: Always Judge every man positively.
When you do not have wild expectations of others you will conquer the anger which can destroy your quality of life.